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"WHO YOU CALLING BY THE NAME OF MASTER?"CYNTHIA
PLASTER
CASTER
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"Let's talk dick"....that's how Cynthia Plaster Caster opens her spoken word performances these days. For the uninitiated, Cynthia is a sculpture artist with a most unique subject matter. "I've been making plaster casts of rockstars and other talented men's dicks for 30 years now." The self described "recovering groupie" got her start in 1967 as an art school student. Her assignment? "Make a plaster cast of something solid, something that can retain its shape". It was the perfect excuse to pursue her other burning interest..."hot rock stars".
Combining her two passions, she went about procuring the eternal plaster images of her heroes...from Jimi Hendrix ("he broke the mold") to Anthony Newly (yes, Anthony Newly). What started out as an innocuous art school assignment has evolved into international acclaim and recognition as a pioneer in the art/music worlds. She currently does spoken word performances (she's kept a diary of every casting) and has a museum tour and autobiography in the works.
Where does KISS fit into all this? Well, in 1977, Cynthia's exploits caught the eye of none other than the Demon himself, Gene Simmons, who promptly wrote the ode, "Plaster Caster". The song describes the alleged wild night he had with Miss Cynthia. There was just one problem...he'd NEVER been cast! He's subsequently claimed that it was written only as a fantasy of his, and was never intended to be taken as factual...hmmm....Gene's sold millions of records, allegedly slept with over 5,000 women and seen the world uncountable times, but there's one thing he's never experienced...
"For the record, I think Gene wrote the song to make people believe he'd been cast, and maybe, perhaps, to give me a gentle hint that he was available. I didn't go out and buy the album immediately because I hated the idea of putting money in the pockets of a band I didn't like. I finally broke down and bought it for my scrapbook. When I first heard it, I hated the song...I was so distressed because the lyrics weren't true. Back then, I couldn't hear the melody. It wasn't until I heard the Lemonheads' version that I realized what a kickass, wonderful melody it is. I've rediscovered the KISS version and I love it as much as the Lemonheads' version...in fact, I can't get it out of my head sometimes...it's really a strange sensation." - Cynthia Plaster Caster-1998
"PLASTER CASTER"
"Baby's getting anxious......"
D.H.: Have you ever been anxious before a casting?
C.P.C- Good question....I do get anxious before casting dick...mold mixing is intense and requires my complete concentration...the dental alginate powder has to be measured just so...the water has to be proportionate to the amount of powder ...and the water temperature has to be just so...the ingredients take 60 seconds to combine....then the subject has to plunge in and stay hard for 40-60 seconds to get the perfect cast.
D.H. Are there any particular "castees" that have prompted more anxiety than others?
C.P.C.: Hmmm....I don't think it has so much to do with the castee...it's when I haven't done it in a long time that I become anxious...
D.H.: So it's more about where your head's at than who it is you're casting...
C.P.C.: Right, right, right...it's more about me...I'm neurotically worried about not getting a creamy perfect mold for that mighty fine dick that I'm so honored to capture. I try to get it at its prettiest...
D.H.: What are your criteria for casting dick?
C.P.C. Hmmm....gotta be talented....preferably in a creative way...an artist, a musician or a filmmaker who's work has made me happy, given me a good laugh, given me goosebumps....or there might even be a politician someday that might make me feel the same way... a SuperHero...it doesn't have to be music, they don't have to be famous, they don't have to be well hung and they don't have to be pretty...although all those qualities are nice, they're not my criteria for casting...
"...the hour's getting late"
D.H.: What time of day do you prefer to cast?
C.P.C.: My preference, unfortunately, is unrealistic, because I'd prefer to cast during the day.... but dicks are more conducive to casting in the later hours...I can only cast if I don't have to work the next day. That's a concern..."the hour's getting late"...Gene, your right about that..
"...the night's almost over, she can't wait"
D.H.: Is that really true? Or could you really wait until the next morning if the castee were up for it?
C.P.C. Oh, I'd be asleep, honey....but have I been waiting long for KISS? How long have I been waiting for KISS?..oh, for about MINUS 10 YEARS! (laughter)....
D.H.: So casting KISS in not in your immediate sights?
C.P.C. See, I think KISS and I started off on the wrong foot, because I really adore the song now.....but I'm not sure if I could work with their personalities....I know that Gene is really funny and witty, but he's so full of himself, I don't know that I could exist in the same room as him very long, especially with his pants down.....
"...things are complicated"
D.H.: Have there been complications in the casting process?
C.P.C.: Yeah, How are you gonna convince me to do this, Gene?.. there's the complication... (laughter) ...maybe I should do a duet with them...I've always wanted to do "Bedazzled"...KISS don't seem to take themselves too seriously...I like that...when I met them in 1997, I almost felt like I was bonding with them for awhile, that I could laugh with them...
D.H.: Aside from the personal complications with KISS, are there any general complications that you encounter when casting?
C.P.C.: I can't take on double roles...that's when I lose my focus. As much as I want the subject all to myself sometimes...
D.H.: Double roles?
C.P.C. Yeah , that's when he dips his dick elsewhere besides my plater's* mouth or my dental alginates...(*The assistant who uses oral persuasion to prepare subject for casting. Also "fluffer")
"...my love is in her hands" C.P.C. The only contact my hand has on that cock is around the pubic area, making sure that it's very well lubricated...
"...there's no more waitin', she understands"
D.H.: Is there an unspoken understanding with the subjects?
C.P.C.: The understanding is that once the alginate ingredients start to combine, there's no turning back...that mold is setting....you gotta dip your dick in when I say so...otherwise it's a wasted mold.....and I'm not a happy camper when somebody refuses to dip just because they think they're not looking their biggest and beefiest.. fuck that shit!
D.H.: So they know going in...
C.P.C.:....that they gotta GO IN....If they're not gonna fuck it, they can fuck off....
"...the plaster's getting harder"
C.P.C.: No, it's not the plaster that gets harder, it's the dental mold....show's how much Gene doesn't know about the process...the plaster gets hard as an end result, but Gene is referring to the mold getting harder at that point..."plaster" probably sounds prettier in the song....It's probably not as catchy to sing "the dental mold alginate's getting harder".....
"...my love is perfection"
C.P.C.: Self described (laughter) ....
"...a token of my love for her collection"
C.P.C.: The kindly token of Gene's love...how big of him....
"...Plaster Caster, grab ahold of me faster...
If you wanna see my love, just ask her"
C.P.C.: O.K., Gene....you're really putting your big Godzilla boot in your mouth on that one, aren't ya'...Just ASK me?
D.H. Have any of your subjects ever asked you to bring out their cast to show to other people?
C.P.C.: No, no way...Some aren't happy with the end result because sometimes the cast doesn't reflect their full capability...
D.H.: Does it have to with with the fact that it's a cold mix?
C.P.C. It's like fucking a corpse that's really still and has no vaginal muscles or flexibility... and there's nothing else touching your dick in that time or space when your fucking that mold....
D.H.: Is there any way to make the mold more lifelike, maybe a little bit warmer?
C.P.C.: It can be warmer, but it would have to be stirred really, really fast..I've been trying to find a stirring mechanism to combine the ingredients faster, but so far, only human hands can produce the right mix...I once tried to use a paint stirrer and that didn't work at all...a friend of mine actually tried to fashion a stirring machine for me with a power drill attached to a mixer head...it just splashed the mixture everywhere...it didn't combine it at all...my dentist told me that he didn't know of any machine that could simulate a human stirring action...
D.H.: But haven't you encountered subjects with full erections...really getting into it?
C.P.C.: On, yeah...Dennis Thompson of the MC5 came in the mold...and Jimi Hendrix fucked the mold for about 15 minutes...his pubes got ripped out when he pulled out...
"...my love in is in plaster, and she's a collector,
and she wants me all the time to inject her"
D.H.: I'm interpreting that line as a reference to the "dual role" situation...in other words, if you had to make a list, who would you want to cast and be "injected" by?
C.P.C.: Jarvis Cocker from Pulp!....and a few others out there...
"...and she calls me by the name of Master"
D.H.: Have you ever addressed any of your subjects as "Master"?
C.P.C. Never.... "Master" nor "Mister"....I'm not even the "Master"...it's really a democratic situation we're talking about here...hopefully, everybody's having equal enjoyment...